Sunday, 13 October 2013

Let's Talk About Lifts And Bouncing

Last Wednesday, I had to go shopping in Sainsbury's

The contents of what I brought are irrelevant but it was enough for four bags. (I can tell that you're really interested in this post.)

The Sainsbury that I often go to is a relatively new one, it has it's own muti-story car park and there is a cinema right next door. I parked on the top floor which meant that on the way down I could take the leaning travelator down to the shop floor.

I am unaware of how travelator's work in other countries, but over in England, where the sun is always shining, we have a voice that speaks to us when near the end. The voice Sainsbury's have installed is one of a 40-something year old dominatrix who tells us to 'push' our trollies off the walkway.

Unfortunately on the way back up, the return travelator wasn't working, which meant that I was left with two choices; the lift, or the stairs.

Do I look like I want to take the stairs?

When I got into the lift, I made a huge mistake, I held the doors open for a lovely lady, her shopping trolly and  flood of a loud 60-something (I'm being kind) dominatrix who is talking to a younger woman about how she 'bounced' on a trampoline for the first time since she could remember.

For the rest of us in the lift, this conversation, had no context.

We all looked at each other, while this woman kept talking about bouncing'

When the woman and a few other people bounced off the elevator and onto the first floor, I was left in with one other guy. We completed the rest of the journey in a awkward silence.

We did not bounce off the elevator.

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